Bob Ellis on Obama

I don’t know how to make fun of this. Bob Ellis argues that Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.

Barack Obama, by contrast, has already affected his own country mightily, stopping torture in its military prisons [No, he hasn’t], inspiring its black minority [This warrants a prize], energising Hispanics with a female Supreme Court judge [Why not give the award to Bush for appointing Powell and Rice?], and allowing Cuban Americans to make contact, once more, with their relatives [Even though he maintains the blockade]. His oratory is thought to be greater than Martin Luther King’s [By who? Should we give an award for giving good speeches?] and he has given hope to Black America as no other leader since Lincoln [Note how he has to say this twice in a paragraph, because Obama hasn’t actually done anything for African Americans].

He has given hope to Africans too [Should we create a prize for not being Bush?], and health aid without religious caveats. His book Dreams from My Father has inspired an African generation [I doubt it] and could one day get him a Nobel Prize for Literature [HAHAHAHAHA. Yes, he will get a Nobel Prize for it. And a prize for being handsome and dancing well. Ellis clearly would like us to start building statues to Obama].

In Europe he has prevented a new Cold War by taking the rockets out of Poland and inviting Russia back into the conversation. He has taken steps that stopped the global money crisis from paralysing many small western nations [Like what]. He has dealt wisely and effectively with the threat of North Korea, and some Somalian pirates [Here I think Ellis doesn’t know anything about either subject. But perhaps he thinks Obama deserves a peace prize for arming Somalian warlords] He has called for an end to all nuclear weapons, and ensured Iran’s would be found if they had any [beyond satire]. He has signed Kyoto, and sped scientific processes that might still help combat global warming [note how this is the best he can say about Obama on climate change].

He made a speech, moreover, that pacified a billion Muslims, and won a good many back from jihad and militant confrontation [yes, as is well known, Obama is now loved throughout the Muslim world, especially Iraq and Pakistan and Afghanistan and Palestine]. It was thought by some to be the best speech ever made [!!!!!]. It was only a speech, but so was the Sermon on the Mount. It actually changed the world in attitude, at least for a time, from one of suspicious intertribal belligerence to one of hopeful negotiation.

Ellis goes on to suggest various politicians who don’t deserve the award. It’s unthinkable that a non-politician might warrant the award (except perhaps Princess Di. What planet does this guy live on?) He even stoops lower: “It is hard to see what world figure has done more for peace than Obama. John F. Kennedy, certainly, prevented a nuclear war.” Prevented a nuclear war? JFK almost caused a nuclear war with his nuclear brinkmanship. Khrushchev prevented the nuclear war, and both should be regarded as international criminals who recklessly risked the fate of the planet. Who deserves the award more than Obama? I can think of millions of people: everyone who opposed the Iraq war before it took place. Everyone who opposed the Afghanistan war before it happened. Those who expose and oppose the drone attacks on Pakistan. The brave people in Honduras and Iran struggling for their rights. People in B’Tselem, the Shministim and other refuseniks, the folks in Taayush, Anarchists Against the Wall, al Haq. People struggling in the Congo and Uganda against war criminals, people struggling in Bangladesh and the Pacific Islands to preserve their countries and to raise the world’s conscience about our criminal destruction of their climate. By now, I’ve probably listed people who number in the tens of millions. They all deserve the prize more than just about every American politician since WW2 (with a few honourable exceptions if you look closely. Or why not give the prize to Nader? He hasn’t achieved much, but neither has Obama, and Nader is at least principled).

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